A friend of mine said that my blog followers would like to know more about Danielle and how this happened to my sweet baby girl. I find it difficult to discuss the actual actions that led to her death, however, I can tell you how I feel and how I have learned to deal with the loss of my oldest child that I loved more than life itself.
As I am sure, anyone that is a parent can relate, losing a child is probably the most difficult thing that we could ever endure. I have to say that I was completely unprepared to receive the news of this tragedy as I am sure no parent is. However, I was scheduled for a heart surgery on the 8th of December. I received a call from my daughter on the evening of the 7th to make sure I called her before I went into surgery. I tried diligently to call her to no avail. I knew at that time something was wrong. Parents, we know these things. I told my mom to find her before I got out of surgery and when I got out of surgery I didn't have a clue until the next day that Darryl Anthony Priestly had taken the life of my child early on the morning of the 8th before I went into my surgery.
Parents always say they don't understand how I feel and my answer is that yes you do. If you are a parent then you know exactly what I feel. It is every parents worst nightmare. During the days that passed after her death I was numb to all the activities, however, I continued to pray for my healing of my heart and in that prayer I realized that with forgiveness, no anger and no bitterness, it was much easier to deal with. I have days that I have my breakdowns, I really do. I am human, we are all sinners. I do believe however, that the only reason God has me here on earth is to make sure that everyone that needs to know about forgiveness, not holding grudges, not angering quickly and not being bitter gets to know that with these virtues in your life and walking like Jesus walked on this earth of ours will give you nothing but peace and God's grace beyond your understanding.
I want to tell all of the parents out there, to always tell your children you love them no matter how mad you are, always kiss and hug them even when they think it's gross and embarrasses them, and always remember to keep good tabs on your children. You think you know them but you really have no clue and they believe you don't understand at all. You couldn't have possibly ever been a teenager you know. Try to let them make some decisions and pick your battles wisely. If it won't matter 10 years from now and it's not breaking a commandment, don't argue about it. Life is too short to argue with the love of your lives...you need to respect them just as they respect you. Remember, we reap what we sow.
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I want you to know that I think about you often. You have been such an inspiration to me. My relationship with my daughter has been turbulent over the years and it has been extrememly difficut at times to deal with the moodiness, temper tantrums, and the arguments. That's life with a teenager! In the end, we should relaize that God doesn't promise tomorrow and we need to pick our battles and don't sweat the small stuff. Even when Alicia drives me crazy, I try to remember that she is my child and she was God's gift to me!
ReplyDeleteYou WILL be blessed and your heart fully restored. I feel this and pray this for you Stephanie. God takes care of his own, sometimes it is hard to swallow that when bad things happen but keep the faith. May God bless you today. :o)
ReplyDeletejust wanted to let you know i look forward to reading your blogs every morning. i have an hour break between my first and second class and this is always the first thing i do :) keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this, Stephanie. I feel that blogging is like therapy. Therapy with thousands of friendly counselors to help you along in your day-to-day journey. I think of you every day and wish we lived closer so that I could give you a big ol' hug every time I see you! Keep up your new journal. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDelete~Misti
Stephanie, I am so blessed to be a part of your life. Your words are so true. Very well said. God is using you....everyday. I love you and am happy to be your friend. You are truely an amazing soul.
ReplyDeleteMy co-worker and his wife miscarried a baby last year and in the card I gave him I said, "I don't know what it means to lose a child, but I know what it is like to love a child". I will also say that I never understood love until I had my first child. Now I love in a completely different way. When my oldest was a baby he was really sick and I was so scared... but God whispered to my heart that He loved that baby more than I ever could. I understood then that it wasn't just me holding them together... just like you're not alone in your grief over Danielle. God hurt for the way she was hurt. And his justice will prevail. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteMrs.Stephanie, I wanted to tell you that you are someone that I have come to look up to. I only know you as Danielles mother and I remember from that huge community yard sale from a couple of years ago, but the things you write about are the things that everyone should read. You bring joy to my life because everyone I see something you have written it is so positive and straight from the Lord. I'm like daniell, I always tell people that I love them, no matter how many times a day I talk to them they get an I love you before we hang up. I've been seeing lots of ladybugs lately and it makes me think of Danielle every time. Today I seen one on this older womans shirt as she was walking by, it was on her back right and made me think Danielle was walking by and saying hello.
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to always tell me, you will never know unconditional love until you have a child of your own. Well in October of 2006 I had a little boy. At 18 years old I was no where near ready to be a mother, bu my mom was right!! It's the greatest gift I couldve ever asked for. He brings joy to my life and puts a smile on my face, even at the worst of times. I am so sorry that Daryl took Danielle from you, that he thought he could play God and take a life. If you can forgive him for taking your baby girl then I know that I can forgive anybody for what they have done to me. I can tell that you are a strong woman and that is why I look up to you. I love that you have started this blog and that you write anout this stuff, I'm glad you talk about Danielle and what a fun sweet loving girl she was. I struggle as a 22 with finding my faih in God, but your devotionals and scriptures that you post make it easier to find and believe in Him. So thank you for what you have done and for the things you will do in the future to help me with this struggle. God bless you and take care.
You said "Parents always say they don't understand how I feel..." I want to add something to that...there is someone else who knows exactly how you feel, times a million. God. His son was murdered too. And just think, God willingly ALLOWED his son to be murdered because He LOVED us that much. So you, Stephanie, have a unique insight as to just how much God loves you and the rest of us. I hope that made sense, it was something God put in my heart to tell you. I hope I relayed the message in the way He wanted you to receive it.
ReplyDeletePlease keep writing, you continue to inspire us all.