To all of my friends on Facebook and friends of Danielle's, you already know I received a letter from Danielle's accused killer on Monday. I felt compelled to write about it today rather than the last 2 days because I wanted to reflect upon what the letter meant to me and how it would affect others, myself and the case against the accused.
I was startled as you can imagine finding it in my mailbox to begin with, however, it was what I had been praying for sometime to receive. I wanted him to acknowledge the fact that he took her away from me, tell me he was remorseful, ask for forgiveness, tell me thank you for trying to lead him to Christ and for hurting so many people by taking her life. What I received in my eyes was exactly that. However, after reading it over and over to my family and friends, they really didn't feel the same way.
I think when you want something to be true so badly you see it from your own perspective. As a wise friend told me today, she sees her glass half full, not half empty. I think this is what I felt as I read the letter. I think I wanted so badly for a truthful, well thought out apology, I saw that in his letter he sent. The letter was an answer to my prayer, I know that without a doubt. But, I do believe that because I forgave him a long time ago for what he did to my family and most importantly my child, it was a closure that I had been longing for since he was arrested.
I still believe he meant the apology, I just have a greater understanding of the fact that not all people see situations from the same side of the fence. I'd like to end by saying that if you are faced with choosing how you view something you see or hear, the Christian thing to do is believe God has control over all things and He knows every ones thoughts before they think them and he is the only one that should be judging if Daryl was sincere or not. Not me.
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Writing you anything at all shows in his own way that he regrets what he did, and he is trying connect with you as best he can. Let's face it, he is not an upstanding citizen or he wouldn't have done this to begin with. I hope it helped you in so many ways to come to terms with him. I only want happiness for you, my forever friend.
ReplyDelete~Misti
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ReplyDeleteI have watched you over the past few months and I have been amazed at your strength and "Godly" spirit. For those of us that know God, it is easy to see where your strength comes from. You could carry around a revengeful, unforgiving attitude, but your other children would see that. I see a peace when I look at you. I watch your child everyday and I see that same peace through the eyes of your sweet daughter. I know that there wil stil be difficult days, but your choice to allow God to deal with Darryl will leave room for your blessings in the midst of this tragedy.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how you slice it, he will face judgment on earth and in heaven .... when I read he wrote a letter to you, I had a check in my spirit wondering if it was sincere as well, but no one knows the true state of his heart but the Lord ... to write anything admitting it in the first place was huge .... since he didn't deny his doing but in fact confessed, and that right there says he is seeing his horrendous act of pain against us all - the body of Christ, your family, and your beautiful gift of a daughter that she was and IS in heaven.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for further conviction in his spirit for a sincere salvation experience, because he cannot escape a multitude of prayers over him ... the Lord will be faithful to you and to our prayers ...