December 26, 2010

Sorry it has been so long since I blogged, I think I had a blogging block...well, this has been our second Christmas without Danielle and I can say it never gets any easier. I recently was afforded the opportunity to see Danielle's killer come to justice. He had requested a plea deal and the state offered him Life + 10 years after they discussed it with our family and then he decided to take it on December 17th and appeared before the sentencing Judge in his case on Monday, December 20th almost a year to the date that he confessed to her murder stating it was an accident. It appeared to us as the best option because we were insured he would serve 30 years without parole and then 10 years plus any time it would take for application of parole. It also prevented him from ever being able to appeal his case. We decided to keep this decision between close family and friends only due to the fact that he could have changed his mind before he went before the judge.

As I have been blogging and preaching on forgiveness over the past year, I really knew I had forgiven him as he walked into the room for sentencing and looked to see his family and noticed there was no one there for him at all. Not one sole and not one had been to any of his hearings since the original bond hearing that all of the evidence was presented to the judge and his mother saw what he had done to my child. I can say that I felt nothing towards him...no anger, not mercy, not feelings at all other than pity or maybe even a little sorry for him. He didn't know it but I was there to make sure my child had justice for her death, but the only person that will have to answer to God when he dies is him. He will have to answer for what he did to an innocent life. He not only took her life but his as well and now where were all the so called friends that defended him on facebook...no where. They all realized he had indeed had killed someone and they have now turned from him. I only hope that he finds his own forgiveness in prison and that he uses God's word in prison to make a difference in someone else's life.

A lot of people don't understand that I have no hatred for him, but I don't. I find that through God's strength that He has blessed me with during this difficult time has been front and center the entire time. When you forgive someone totally, you will know it. Because when you do, when you see them you will feel no anger towards the person that wronged you. I was able to witness this first hand in his sentencing hearing. Ultimately, God will seek revenge for Danielle and all of us that loved her, it is not for us to do, it is His position only to pass judgment, not us.

We loved Danielle and will love her forever. I wanted everyone to know from my perspective how this could turn out to be such a calm and easy walk for me. I give all the Glory to God! I am reminded constantly that the bible says an eye for an eye but that was the old testament, after Jesus died for our sins, it is not only the righteous that are saved it is everyone that asks...and that would include him if he asks God for forgiveness, he should be forgiven as well.

Love to all of you and I hope to be able to blog more often. Thank you so much for following.

Love and Ladybugs...Mothers Day Message

In reflecting on this, my first Mother's Day without Danielle, I have had time to reflect upon my life and Danielle's as well.

I received my mom's Amplified Bible to use as a reference yesterday and I saw a note in it that said Danielle's favorite verse in the bible was II Chronicles 5:13-14 "And when the trumpeters and singers were joined in unison, making one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the Lord, and when they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and other instruments for song and praised the Lord, saying, for He is good, for His mercy and loving kindness endure forever, then the house of the Lord was filled with a cloud. So that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the House of God."

This verse has special meaning to me because she lived, loved and laughed the same way when she was a child. She would sing praises to the Lord all the time, just dance and sing His praises. Then as a teenager she departed from that but was always still filled with the spirit of love for everyone and protection of everyone whether she showed it or not. She loved the people she loved, deeper than anyone else I know.

As mothers, we should always have love in our homes and show children how to always love and show love and kindness to everyone no matter their situation or stature in their peer groups. Love never fails, it's not touchy, it's forgiving and everlasting. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." - 1 Peter 4:8 NIV

Danielle was almost always smiling and happy and I truly believe that she had God's love in her heart! There is no way to bask in the love of God and be unhappy at the same time! You can also choose to be happy, just as you could choose to be miserable. Danielle made a conscious effort to be happy all the time. I think she would want us all to rejoice the same way and live a happy, satisfied and fulfilling life!

The timing of God...why are we in a hurry?

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalms 27:14

When we wait for the Lord, He will give us clear direction, guide us, encourage us, protect us, heal us, comfort us, empower us, answer prayers and reveal his will for our lives! The way to achieve this is through rejoicing through worship and praise to our Lord and Savior!

If we learn to wait for God's timing and direction from God, we learn to grow as believers. We all have self will. We need to will ourselves to wait for him. If he answered every prayer before we asked and waited, then what need would we have to seek Him! Give God his perfect timing in all that we do, remember, he never forgets anything except our sins.

There is great courage in someone to face temptations without giving in to immediate gratification and waiting for God's perfect timing for us. Great character is built in those that wait for the Lord!

People always want to know why do I have to wait? God is having us wait because He is readying the circumstances (there is never a coincidence), He's purifying our motives (making sure we're not being lustful, greedy or in self-will), He's teaching us to trust him, He's protecting us from something we haven't seen in the natural and what an awesome testimony we have when we are patient and wait for the answers to our prayers! He wants to be praised for these and this is His way of making sure everyone knows He is really there and listening!

Don't Judge or Seek Revenge

James 1:19-20 - Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

I have been dealing a lot with this topic lately. According to the word of God we shall not judge for we shall be judged. Seeking revenge on someone hurts no one but ourselves because it takes up all of our time. We can't study the word of God when we are constantly plotting and planning against someone that has wronged us.

God meant for us to be good listeners so that we can be slow to speak, which gives us time to have a Godly thought to give to the situation. If we are quick to respond or lash out, it will almost always be a nasty blow to someone that could have otherwise been someone we should have shown kindness to. My mom told me once to "kill em with kindness" and I'm telling you over and over, this advice is good advice. It has always worked for me and I am certain it will work for you.

If you are planning on getting through a rough situation that challenges your faith, it is crucial for you to follow this lesson. We are meant to be Godly examples and if we are constantly seeking revenge, we can't possibly be setting a good example. By being vengeful we will do several things, of which, driving away other Godly people is the worst. If we lose our Godly friends we lose our grounding to the word and then we will wither away like a dying flower with no water.

So if you are faced with a horrible situation, don't react, listen and wait for God's words to come, I promise it will. He never leaves your side and he said vengeance is His...so let him do His work. Don't try to do His work for Him, if we do, He may just let us take ourselves down the wrong road and trust me that is not a road we want to travel unprotected by God!

Transformation from Caterpillar to Butterfly!

Corinthians 3:18 - "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."

Most of us understand the transformation of the caterpillar into a butterfly, but has anyone explained the transformation from your OLD self in the flesh of our earth to your NEW self in Christ? The world wants to conform us, God wants to transform us! Jesus gives us a heart of wanting and appreciation, little by little he transforms us into his image. When we submerse ourselves in the teachings of the Bible, we learn little by little and become transformed little by little so that eventually, we can be transformed from the animal that crawls to the Christian that flies!

We need to stop thinking God is mad at us for not being perfect Christians. We all learn at different paces, we all have different amounts of time that we can devote to our learning. You may only have 15 minutes a day to devote to the Lord, but eventually you will have more time and be able to grow into your NEW Christian life in your own time. Just like the butterfly that develops from the cocoon, we develop as Christians the same way. If you are going through struggles in your life, think of the butterfly in the cocoon, he struggles and struggles to get out of it and then becomes this beautiful animal of God. Your struggles too, will transform you into a beautiful person of God. Sometimes, we have to go through struggles to develop into our NEW Christian lives.

Don't try to be someone else, because when God transforms you, you will be your own butterfly! So get into your cocoon with the Holy Spirit and be transformed into the image of Jesus!

Having a Christian influence is difficult sometimes...

Proverbs 10:17 (NIV) - "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."

Discipline is not only important to us, but also to those who are influenced by our actions. So often we undervalue the impact of our personal decisions on others. But God has placed each of us in a circle of influence to be a blessing and a redemptive influence for those around us. To choose what is foolish, to ignore godly correction, not only jeopardizes our own future, but also the future of others.

I read this the other day and decided this was something very close to my heart. When Christians behave badly we influence others in several ways. The first is that we may make unsaved people think we are hypocrites. Second, we may make other Christians think it's okay to say and behave certain ways that are not Godly or how God would have us behave. Lastly and most importantly, we may miss an opportunity to witness to someone that otherwise would have been influenced in a positive way by our Christian ways.

Remember, not only is God watching every moment of our lives, but so are others that just might be looking to you for Godly guidance. Love everyone all the time, even when you don't want to and you'll understand what I am saying.

The Letter...

To all of my friends on Facebook and friends of Danielle's, you already know I received a letter from Danielle's accused killer on Monday. I felt compelled to write about it today rather than the last 2 days because I wanted to reflect upon what the letter meant to me and how it would affect others, myself and the case against the accused.

I was startled as you can imagine finding it in my mailbox to begin with, however, it was what I had been praying for sometime to receive. I wanted him to acknowledge the fact that he took her away from me, tell me he was remorseful, ask for forgiveness, tell me thank you for trying to lead him to Christ and for hurting so many people by taking her life. What I received in my eyes was exactly that. However, after reading it over and over to my family and friends, they really didn't feel the same way.

I think when you want something to be true so badly you see it from your own perspective. As a wise friend told me today, she sees her glass half full, not half empty. I think this is what I felt as I read the letter. I think I wanted so badly for a truthful, well thought out apology, I saw that in his letter he sent. The letter was an answer to my prayer, I know that without a doubt. But, I do believe that because I forgave him a long time ago for what he did to my family and most importantly my child, it was a closure that I had been longing for since he was arrested.

I still believe he meant the apology, I just have a greater understanding of the fact that not all people see situations from the same side of the fence. I'd like to end by saying that if you are faced with choosing how you view something you see or hear, the Christian thing to do is believe God has control over all things and He knows every ones thoughts before they think them and he is the only one that should be judging if Daryl was sincere or not. Not me.

4th month since my baby bug was taken from me...

A friend of mine said that my blog followers would like to know more about Danielle and how this happened to my sweet baby girl. I find it difficult to discuss the actual actions that led to her death, however, I can tell you how I feel and how I have learned to deal with the loss of my oldest child that I loved more than life itself.

As I am sure, anyone that is a parent can relate, losing a child is probably the most difficult thing that we could ever endure. I have to say that I was completely unprepared to receive the news of this tragedy as I am sure no parent is. However, I was scheduled for a heart surgery on the 8th of December. I received a call from my daughter on the evening of the 7th to make sure I called her before I went into surgery. I tried diligently to call her to no avail. I knew at that time something was wrong. Parents, we know these things. I told my mom to find her before I got out of surgery and when I got out of surgery I didn't have a clue until the next day that Darryl Anthony Priestly had taken the life of my child early on the morning of the 8th before I went into my surgery.

Parents always say they don't understand how I feel and my answer is that yes you do. If you are a parent then you know exactly what I feel. It is every parents worst nightmare. During the days that passed after her death I was numb to all the activities, however, I continued to pray for my healing of my heart and in that prayer I realized that with forgiveness, no anger and no bitterness, it was much easier to deal with. I have days that I have my breakdowns, I really do. I am human, we are all sinners. I do believe however, that the only reason God has me here on earth is to make sure that everyone that needs to know about forgiveness, not holding grudges, not angering quickly and not being bitter gets to know that with these virtues in your life and walking like Jesus walked on this earth of ours will give you nothing but peace and God's grace beyond your understanding.

I want to tell all of the parents out there, to always tell your children you love them no matter how mad you are, always kiss and hug them even when they think it's gross and embarrasses them, and always remember to keep good tabs on your children. You think you know them but you really have no clue and they believe you don't understand at all. You couldn't have possibly ever been a teenager you know. Try to let them make some decisions and pick your battles wisely. If it won't matter 10 years from now and it's not breaking a commandment, don't argue about it. Life is too short to argue with the love of your lives...you need to respect them just as they respect you. Remember, we reap what we sow.

What makes a person successful in spiritual warfare?

In spiritual warfare you have to remember that you wrestle not with flesh and blood. You are fighting evil spirits, therefore you need to be prepared to fight the way they fight...through actions. They can't do anything without your permission.

First, you must have endurance (2 Timothy 2:3) - the ability to endure and withstand hardship, adversity, or stress. We are to endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

Second, you must have hatred for the devil (Psalms 139.22) - extreme dislike or antipathy, loathing. In spiritual warfare, we must have a hatred of evil spirits.

Third, you must have knowledge (2 Corinthians 2:11) - we are not to be ignorant of Satan's devices.

Fourth, you must have persistence (Psalms 18:37) - the ability to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of oppression. We must be persistent in dealing with the enemy.

Lastly, you must practice separation (2 Timothy 2:14) - to get or keep apart. No man who wars entangles himself with the affairs of this life.

God uses ordinary people to accomplish His purposes. Our ability comes through grace. Every believer is sitting in heavenly places in Christ. Your position in Christ is high above all principality and power. You must see who you are in Christ. You can do all things through Christ.

Strife, what strife?

For where there is jealousy and selfishness, there is strife and every evil work. - James 3:16

Strife is a very sneaky thing. It can sneak in like cancer and steal your peace, destroy relationships and extinguish all hope for your future. You must always stay on guard against strife and make the decision to walk in love and peace. Keeping strife out of your life is a vital key to living the abundant life God has in store for you!

Follow the example of Jesus and let your words and actions bring life to those around you. Focus more on loving people than proving your point in an argument. As you honor and prefer others and lay your own opinions aside, you'll discover a level of peace and rest you've never experienced before, then shall follow new levels of victory and abundance.

Husbands and wives, always kiss goodnight and say your sorry even if it's not your fault in your eyes, friends always hug and tell each other your sorry even if it hurts you to do so, families don't hold past arguments over each others heads and live for the next argument, love one another as Jesus loves us and you will never have strife in your house!

Always say I love you...

In reflecting about Danielle, I realized that Danielle never got off the phone without saying she loved you. Ask around or if you knew her you could tell me AMEN! I used to be annoyed that she would do that because I felt it became insignificant if you used it too much. She always said it and if I didn't say it back she'd correct me swiftly. I learned to always say I love you to people that way too. You never know when it will be the last time you get to say it.

Joel Osteen gave a very significant preaching last week about Enjoying the Journey. People are making a living but not making a life. We need to invest time with our children and family. Lack of investment in family can make you a very lonely person.

Take this advice from me, if need be, say no to opportunities at work if it means less time with your children, take walks with them, always have dinner together, go to their ballgames, go to their plays and all their recitals even if you're busy.

Your children are only little once, enjoy them while they still want to hang around with you because there will come a day when they are grown and gone out of the house when that annoying call for Mommy or Daddy will be greatly missed. Slow down and enjoy the journey.

Forgive Past Hurts...are you kidding me?

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 5:31-32 (KJV)

This verse means so much to me. During the loss of Danielle, it was very difficult for me to see anything else but hurt until I realized that with forgiveness and without anger I felt so much better. Did you know that unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment block the flow of God's blessings for your life? Holding on to the hurts of your past can poison your present and limit your future. But when you let go of these emotional wounds, you open the door to the life of victory that God has planned for you!

So trade your sorrow for His joy. Trade your shame for His peace. Trade your insecurities for His love and mercy. We are not defined by our past. We are defined by God's Word and His plan for our lives.

I did so I know you can...If you've never read Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall, please do it. I read this book last week and it changed me forever. I thought I had already forgiven but I had no clue of TOTAL forgiveness until I read this book. It will be the best thing you ever did!

Are you Confident? Well, of course...I think...um...

Joyce Meyer has a perfect saying that I really related to, "A believer in Christ with no confidence is like a jumbo jet with no fuel."

Are you that jumbo jet? I thought I wasn't at all, but little did I know I was not as confident as I portrayed myself to be. My mom always told me carry your head high, smile and no one will ever know you are terrified. A previous boss told me once, say anything with confidence and people will believe you...all of this advice is good advice, however, it doesn't relate to your life in Christ. I trained myself to believe I was confident in all that I did. However, to be confident in Christ is completely different! I wasn't able to do any of the things people had told me over the years to get through my latest difficulties with my life. I lacked confidence in my faith!

If you lack confidence, you have an insecurity (sometimes fear) and that is not how God wants us to live. Things can happen to us as children and young adults that sculpt our lives and make us self conscious. If you learn to love yourself just the way you are, you will realize that God loves us that way too. After all, He created us. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image! Stand up and be who God made us to be...

Your confidence is who you are in Christ Jesus, not what people think about you, not what you look like, what you wear, what you drive or the job you have.

Who's First in Your Life?

Do you serve for the good of others? Or do you serve for yourself? Are you doing what you do because God assigned you the task? Or are you doing it because it makes you look good?

This may seem a strange line of questions - but it's a subject that confronts every Christian at one point or another. Even the disciples struggled with their desires to be the greatest in the kingdom. Yet, Jesus was always quick to remind them, "If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all." Mark 9:35

Doing good deeds will not get us to Heaven. Living a good life and being kind doesn't either. You can give a million dollars a day for the rest of your life to a church and not reach the Kingdom of Heaven. The only way to reach Heaven is through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Don't get me wrong, you should do good deeds, be kind one to another and lead a good Christian life, however, you should only do them with a pure heart and because God leads you to do them, not for your own benefit or to make you look better in the flesh.

Your Responsibility in Gods Eyes

Deuteronomy 24:16 - "A person shall be put to death for his own sin."

I know that is a very harsh verse. However, each of us is responsible to God for our own lives. We do not "accrue" the righteousness of our ancestors, nor must we pay for the sins of our forebears. God judges each person individually. When we die, we are only responsible for our decisions in life not anyone elses.

The Bible says judge not, for ye shall be judged. This verse is very true, in that we should never pass judgment on anyone except ourselves. God will judge those that have sinned against us, it is not our duty nor is it our right to judge anyone. As Christians, we need to be forgiving to all that desire forgiveness. However, forgiveness from God only comes through true repentance and change in ones actions.

Seeking God First

Deuteronomy 6:5 - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength."

Of all God's Commandments, this is the central and most important one. When we love God first and foremost, obedience follows as a natural result and ceases to be a chore.

If there are any of my followers that need to learn to seek the Lord our Savior please feel free to ask. Your relationship with God should be intimate, He seeks this earnestly from you and when you do it He will reward you richly with first, all of your needs. When you make Him first in your life He will not only meet your needs but provide you with the desires of your heart! (Psalm 37:4)

If your prayers aren't being answered, make sure you are praying for a need and not a desire. If you don't know, pray that God removes all desires of your heart that are not pleasing to him. When you do, He will provide you with new desires that are pleasing to him. Praise God!

Children Obey Your Parents...yes, that is what I said.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.

I know this is a very strong verse and I also know that a lot of kids don't respect their parents as they should. Considering Danielle was my daughter I know all too well the disobedience of teenagers to their parents. It is important to know and to teach your children to obey the First Commandment of the Bible. You do have to honor them, however it doesn't mean that you can't disagree with them or be hurt by them. This happens to many families, however, children please don't forget the First Commandment.

God promises with this verse that you may live long upon the earth if you obey your parents. I understand that some children have been disappointed by their parents, but it is crucial that the children not lose site of this Commandment made by the Lord of Lords, King of Kings! Praise His name as he is the Ultimate Father...do not disobey God as though He is your parent. He loves you as your father and mother love you too. He will never leave you nor forsake you! Praise His Holy Name!

Ladybug Explanation...

When Danielle was little I called her baby bug and after her death I was visiting her cemetery and a ladybug crawled across her spot in the mausoleum and ever since then all of our family and friends have seen ladybugs constantly and it is a gentle reminder of her to all of us.

It is strange I know, but ladybugs just keep entering our lives at every turn. I was later hospitalized and believe it or not there was a ladybug in my room that never left my room. All of her friends and the rest of the family have experienced the same type of winks from her. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I do believe that she is with God in Heaven watching over us and sending us these little ladybugs as a gentle reminder that she is watching over us. I now have a collection of ladybugs that fill a small garden at the front of my house where I feel the closest to her. If you hear us discussing ladybugs that is the reason.

There is a book called God Winks that a friend shared with me and I truly believe that there is never a coincidence and it is always part of God's bigger plan for our lives. Don't let those little God Winks from Heaven pass you by. If you earnestly seek the Lord He will always be with you and NEVER forsake you.

Train Your Child in the ways of God!

Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Always put your child in a position to experience the goodness and powers of God, not just learn about Him. Eventually, they will go into the world and will experience the devil and if they have never experienced God; they will likely need signs and wonders to come back to the word of God. Children have to develop their own faith, they can't always live through their parents faith. They should know that God accepts them no matter what, just like their parents!

Faith

Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Most people have faith the grain of a mustard seed and according to the Bible that's all you need! However, it is our doubt in God's ability to answer prayers that debilitates our faith and discourages us from sharing His gospel with everyone no matter what we think they will say. Most Christians today have a fear of failure when witnessing to their friends that need the Word of God. Never fear, you do what you can and God will do what you can't!